A Membership Package – Soul Support

The next Course- Deepening 

The next round of the Tree Connection work

(I love that I’ve had signup’s already – and I hadn’t even finished creating it yet!)

Tell me, how do you measure Success? 

Earlier this week, I was beating myself up. A LOAD of Admin tasks to get done, a reshuffle of the house to finish and an office space to create – and a poorly boy needing to stay off school… My heart just dropped. 

And I felt that overwhelming pile of stress looming…. 

I didn’t want to feel that, I wanted to be present for my child AND I felt I needed to get some of the admin done.  There was only so much I could actually hand over to Carola – most of it was stuck in my head, and I knew only the act of writing it down would bring it into clarity… And I knew late nights, and early mornings and a poorly boy were not going to work… Not in my short term, or in the long term… It takes too long to recover from those nowadays…

It helped to ask myself, in that moment, what was my priority. In that moment, what COULD I do, and what actually NEEDED to be done. My boy needed me – that was the first focus.  He could help me with the office reshuffle & creation space. The admin – bare necessities. So all my priorities got shuffled and juggled. Outstanding admin which I planned to do this week got shuffled to the weekend for when he is with dad.  Furniture reshuffle and office space creation got bumped up to be done together.  And I played the theme song to the Jungle book in my mind whilst trying to clear the stress in my brain… – you know the one – “Bare Necessities”. And so we danced, cooked together, and I tried to be present.  

Here’s the thing about being present though – its not something I can try to do.  I’m either in that space – or NOT.  And I haven’t been this week. I’ve been stressed, trying to work things out in my head whilst trying not to be grumpy with my child… Yea, I reshuffled things around, but I still felt stressed… And that spilled over into me being a bit of a grump when my boy needed me to be soft. 

Yesterday, I surrendered. I stopped trying. I have a regular “Meet and Process” with a friend. We set an hour aside, 30mins each, and just witness the other processing. I get her to say to me “Tell me the Truth of Who You Are”. I talk for 5 mins, she thanks me, gives me a minute of silence – and then asks me again : “Tell me the Truth of Who You Are”. (This is a modified version of a process I learnt on an Enlightenment Intensive with Claire Heron and Shivam. Link here to find out more) And in the midst of that space, I just felt all this grief welling up in me. Mothering, Working. Single Parenting. Being so alone.  Grumping and Stressing. Feeling like I was failing my child, and the people waiting for the admin stuff and myself – that need to pay the bills, do more, give more… All the pressure… – Just Stuff. The truth is, in that moment, I was able to see all the stuff, and looking within myself, to answer that question, in that moment of what is my truth anyway…  

And in that moment, as the stuff started falling away, I found myself just appreciating who I am and what I am doing.  I am Mothering a child who can cook, helps with chores – with the normal level of protest to a child, is kind to animals – and yea, spends more time on a screen than I would like. That’s my judgement and my stress point. He’s happy about it, I struggle – and he balances it with a wide range of other skills… I need to remember that and forgive myself when I resort to giving him a screen whilst I work… The work will – is – getting done. Stressing won’t help. There are deadlines – mostly imposed by myself. Except that one outstanding Jupiter-Juniper tree which still needs loading into the course notes! That was supposed to be this week’s work whilst small child was at school. Once again, it will be delayed. Sorry Jules, and the others waiting for it – I know I said it would be there… Re-typing burns… 

But, In that moment of searching inside myself for whatever is my Truth in the moment… I found myself just recognising how much I am doing, and how well I am doing. I have a clean, mostly tidy home. I am, for the first time in my life, owning all the spaces I’m in – and making use of them – it feels like accepting myself, what I am here to do, share and give, and spreading my wings… I have a happy boy, my own health is good and getting better… There is food in the fridge, a fire in the hearth. I have work that fills my heart and soul with joy – and more coming in, with the opportunity to keep creating more of it. A garden producing food, and various tree planting ideas to still get involved in and do more with. I love, and I am loved. 

In short, in terms of my own measurements – I am successful. And I will keep growing and going.  I am strong, powerful, dynamic – and I am creating more…

Creating the world, the children will inherit… 

With Love, Morag

Morag – Heart. Soul. Earth (moragleiper.com)