A colleague today said “I just can’t imagine how this will work when we go back…”.
I can’t either.
We were talking (messaging actually) about our “other” job, the one we do when we’re not busy mommy-ing. Where we work together in the local Playgroup. A couple of times we’ve bumped into some of the children who would normally be in a play session with us. Normally fairly happy, relaxed- the reaction now is anything but. More like running, screaming and crying… My own child,expecting him to go to dad’s on alternative weekends – in the early days of this virus he flat out refused. “It’s not safe” he said to me. “No contact with people from other households. He’s not from this house, so he’s not safe…”
Can’t really argue with that logic now can I?
The thing is, it will take time. Time to create a new rhythm and way of being. I use this description rather than “normal”, because normal just doesn’t work for me. It never really did.
So, I have to ask myself- as we go back into greater connectivity, what is it that I want to create? I agree with my colleague and friend, I can’t imagine it.
And I don’t want to.
I want to dream it, create it, dance it… It is a new way of being that we are being gifted with the opportunity to create. And that is, quite simply, amazing! Rather marvellous actually.
It’s scary as anything too. Because I have no frame of reference when I begin trying to imagine it. So much has changed! Within me, within the certainties I took for granted in the world around me before all of this .. and I’m an adult, supposed to be inspiring these children who come to me for care that “I have it all under control?”! I don’t feel that I do right now, because I can’t imagine what lies ahead. I can’t imagine it, because I don’t have a concrete, stable, starting point….
But dreaming it? That I feel I can do. Maybe, we need a dream-vision board of what we might like to create. Once we go back…
Thankfully, my whole life has been one of dealing with fluidity and change. And dreaming… That certainly gives me some skills right now, in choosing to dream about what we might create as we come back into greater physical connectivity with each other. And that – the permission to dream, envision, hope – that fills me with anticipation and curiosity! Rather than fear.
The one thing I do know, is that that future will come out of this moment, Now. So, I’m going to do the only thing I can, right now.
Live in the moment.
Cuppa, chocolate, bare feet, planting and playing, in the garden, with my child if i can get him away from the screen. Living in the moment… That’s a song by Jason Marz right? Perhaps, we can even start Playgroup out in the forest for the first month…? Dreaming and visioning the way forward, out of this … 😉